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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Saturday Sooner than it should be...........

My life has been a series of Tom saying hello and goodbye.  From the very beginning of our relationship Tom was saying hello and goodbye.  Twenty years in the Navy of Tom saying hello and goodbye and now more than five years of Tetra-Pak and Tom is still saying hello and goodbye.  Today was goodbye.  I always know it is coming and dread the day it arrives.  The time when he will emotionally separate from me and go into the other room to do the ritual packing and mental departure, while I sit in the other room trying not to be any kind of emotional mess that makes it more difficult for either of us.  There are lots of rituals we go through as he prepares to leave, lots of little routines.... years and years of these.

This Saturday came sooner than it should. I didn't want it to come. He's off traveling the world again. I'm alone again. Just me, my little apartment decorated with the paper chain from all my crafting scraps, the blinking solar Christmas lights that twinkle until they have used up the days supply of sun and my cricut.  I dream about my cricut at night and design cards that never really look like what I actually create in real life.  I've discovered this week that I am not very good, I'm okay at my craft but not great.  I want to be great. So, I'm not going to put up another card onto any of the competition sites or the cricut messageboards until I have one that I think is great.

Like all these years of coming and going, hello and goodbye, if you practice at something long enough, you become accustomed to just what it is, a routine in your life, for good or bad, it is a routine. I want excellence to be a routine. 

So, these are the last of the cards that I have made for my Cricut Card Fairy Army today after Tom left and I went through my normal ritual of his leaving:



Routines are good things in life even when we don't want them to be.  They let us set up a pattern for whatever it is we need to accomplish. I'm working on my accomplishments.


Onward and Upward,
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